真心离伤心最近~

有人说， 真心离伤心最近。

可能是吧。付出了全部的真心， 心已仿佛不再属于自己的。当伤害悄悄降临时，我们也只能落得个束手无策，毫无防备，也未能防备，最后只能任由伤害把心一刀一刀地切开。

有个冲动想要离开，想要保护我的心不想再受到伤害。因为过渡的伤害，剩下的只是一颗冷漠的心。失去了爱人的能力， 失去了相信别人的能力。但是心的另一角却劝我不要轻易放弃，只因真的爱着一个人，就不该轻言放弃。

站在红绿灯前，望着前方，我的心还是希望它能有青灯的时候，只因我还想牵着他的手，一同走向未来，如果有未来的话。

无力... 无奈~

有时放工回家，一身疲累。坐在电脑面前头脑一片空白。只希望明天是休假，至少可以小休一下，远离是是非非，远离现实。觉得人生有时真的很无奈，现实与梦想好像永远都分开。有人说努力是成功的方程式，但是努力的背后需要有多少的血汗，多少的时间，多少的心机？还要经过多少的失败，多少的沮丧，多少的眼泪，才能达到梦想？而且还要做多少违背自己的心，违背良心的事情呢？

有些时候，当努力过了，但现实依然是现实，梦想依然是梦想的时候，那我们又该如何面对呢？乐观面对？接受事实？从新来过？这些都是易讲不易做的事。

现在的我，只觉得疲累。望着前方，什么都看不到。真的希望可以抛开一切，拿个旅行包包，一走了之。

P/S: 何时的我才可以过着无惧无忧的生活？

I miss him~

The weather is so freaking HOT! Ever since Chinese New Year or before that, it is like that already. In the afternoon if you plan for a nap or so, often time you will end up in a sauna room if you didn't on the aircond. Frustrated.

I miss my dear badly. Seeing that he has quite a bunch of pending works to settle and some unresponsive people from his side that drag his work, I really pity him and wish I will be there all the time. Plus the super hot weather, I know he will be sweating around but at the same time couldn't do much about it.

Really hope that things will go well for him. All the best darling, you have my support. =) Love you.

A story to tell~

*I used to think that I will not be able to live without him, but now I realize that I am doing better without him. This is life perhaps, and I thank him for coming into my life, once.*

A phrase that I saw while hopping some random blogs just now. From the sentence itself it is quite obvious that the lady who wrote the post had been through some really hard times before she became who she is today. And yet she thanked the guy for coming into her life, as without him, she wouldn't be who she is today.

Quite a meaningful one. The reality of life is that most of the people we meet today, they come and they go. Some may stay longer, some may just pass by, some may create a great impact, some may leave a deep scar, some we may still sigh when we think back, and the list goes on.

Regardless of who, and their roles in our life, they are the people who mold us today, either the bad or the good way. For me, I thank everyone who came into my life once, and thank those who are still lingering around me, and thank those who have changed me over the period of time. Well, it is just life after all.

P/S:

如果当时的我坚持不让你离去,
今天的我们又能否改变命运？
如果一切已是命中注定，
那过分坚持只能活在过去。

谢谢你让我感受爱情，
谢谢你曾经光顾我的生命，
如果时间能回到过去，
走回同样的路我还是愿意。

虽然感情已成回忆，
但看见你开心我还是替你高兴，
对你，有一份真挚的友谊，
愿快乐常伴你。

Lines~

*If only it is this easy to draw a line*

Sometimes I think it is quite hard to draw lines, to define how much we can go before it is too much, or how little we have done within the line. It is a way to set a boundary and limitation for ourselves, so that we know when to stop, if we have gone way beyond, or when to move forward, when we are stepping at the same ground over a period of time.

But then, especially in servicing line, I find that the lines are blur. It is hard to draw a line between you and your customers, how much you wanna service them? How much extra miles to walk in order to establish a better relationship? How much time we need to spend to build the trust and relationship? To what extent do we need to sacrifice before they take us for granted?

Even sometimes when we spend countless effort and time to build better rapport, they are still founded on a fragile ground, vulnerable and defenseless, easily broken and dissembled. Hmm, I should have taken PR during my study years.

Dementia Me~

The other day while chatting with my colleagues, they said structurally, we female have a different brain as compared to male. How different I don't know, since I am not a neuro expert. But then if gender does make a difference to our brain's structure, maybe the same to dementia, or milder case, forgetfulness.

Nowadays I am very forgetful and disorganized. Early morning when I go to work, my car is quite clean and tidy. But by the time I reach home, my car is in a mess. Used scrambled tissue papers, toll tickets, smart tag, petrol receipts, pens, bag, note book, and etc. They are everywhere in my car.

What worst is that nowadays I am seriously forgetful. This minute I have a to-do-list in my mind, the next minute I can forget half of them already. Today I even left my important document in the hospital (the place I work) and now I only hope that somebody will note it and keep it. What most important is that I hope nobody from the same line notices my folder, otherwise I will be in dead shit.

Why la? What happen to my brain? o.O

Marriage~

*Marriage*

One of my besties is getting married next year. Perhaps she will be the first one who gets married among all my close friends. Really, I am happy for her as well as her beloved one. Because I think, it is not easy to find the right one, and at the right timing. Congratz! ^^

When I had a conversation with my parents and my grandma a few days ago, I kinda grab some ideas of how they perceive marriage, or even a serious relationship. Perhaps they have gone through the process themselves, so they are speaking of self-experiences.

They said that marriage is unfortunately not the matter of two persons. In other words, a successful marriage is not merely based on love. Living in a materialistic world, it is sad to say that we need money to get married. At least enough money to start a family and to support monthly expenses and other expenses. Also we have to think a few years ahead, when we welcome new members to the family. That will unavoidably increase monthly expenses. How about the change of the macro-environment? When your salary is fixed at a point while inflation is getting worst? I cannot deny that what they said is true. In fact they kinda scare me into getting married. Perhaps after all I am not ready for marriage yet.

Nonetheless, I still see marriage as a blessing, because this shows that we are lucky enough to meet the one in life. Someone who makes our lives complete. I am still positive thou,

*Marriage brings two souls together, two hearts to beat as one.*

p/s: Appreciate your loved ones. =)

昨日与今日的我~

人生短短几十年，何苦时时勉强自己，何苦事事强求一百分？

回想今天所发生的事，其实都是因为自己急于求胜，急于证明自己，最终反而弄巧反拙。发现有很多事情，无需过于心急，无需太过进取，应求顺其自然，慢慢培养。正如花草树木需要阳光，水分，养分与时间来慢慢成长，人与人之间的关系也正是如此。

现在只想倍加努力，多加思考，做好本分，接受批评，慢慢改善，慢慢进步，实现梦想。

I guess this is what life is all about~

Just imagine this,

One day your beloved ones was diagnosed with cancer, and she is using the anti-cancer drug that you're selling. But so happens that the drug does not work on her, and her health condition is deteriorating. And this morning you were awaken by a phone call from the hospital, asking you to rush to the hospital, maybe it will be your last visit. At the same time your phone reminder rang, reminding you to attend an important meeting to promote your drug. How will you feel? If you are faced with this kinda condition?

I got a friend who recently facing this kinda situation. Her mom was severely ill, using the drug that she is selling, but the effects are not so promising. She is trying to be strong, but how strong can we be, especially if the person is our loved ones. Sometimes people tend to advise us not to bring our emotions back to work, but we are human after all, how robotic we can be?

Somehow I think, this is what life is all about. Ironic it can be. Believe it or not, there are a lot of things that beyond our control, even we are trying our very best to do what we can. If today I am facing this kinda situation, I don't think I can be as strong as her, because I am a fragile woman who cannot stand the painstaking feeling of seeing my beloved dies in front of me.

Wish her all the best. Take good care of our loved ones when we still have the chance. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? When they said live life to the fullest, I guess this is one of the things that we should do before it is too late.

Babes, all the best and be strong. =)

The happy imperfection~

**It is impossible to make everyone around you happy
It is impossible to make everyone to like you
It is impossible to gain 100% for everything that you do**

I remember reading a book, the author said that there are two main kinda human in this world. The maxifier and the satisfier. Maxifier is the person who wanna be perfect in everything he does, to be recognized, to be valued by the society and his own standards. Satisfier is the person who does good enough to make himself happy.

Maxifier is not a happy person, because he has too many unsatisfied needs. Satisfier on the other hand, they may not be the most successful people on earth, not the richest, not the well-known people, but they happy people living a content life.

Somehow I have realized that, I am not a perfect human. In fact I am never a perfect human. So it is impossible to make everyone around me to like me, or like the way I do things. It is too tiring to twist and turn myself to be somebody else, to make the others happy while I am suffering myself. What is the point when I am not happy in the end of the day?

Another additional point to 2010 resolution, I wanna be ME, I wanna be a happier person.

P/S: 其实人生不复杂, 只是我把它复杂化。