Biological Clock~

Went into complete chaos... Slept at 4am last night (last minute report), woke up at 7am, rushed to uni to print my wormie report and then rushed to lab for a three hour lecture. Well... Just tired and cannot concentrate at all. Half way through the class, I went to the washroom to get myself some fresh air. But it doesn't help much though, I still cannot focus when I came back to class. Dr. Gong's lecture is interesting as always, just that my cells are dying from sleep deprivation. >_>

Well, whose fault? Obviously the one who wrote this. >_> Earlier of the months I actually promised myself to sleep earlier, have a more healthier lifestyle. But it turned out to be still the same, I still slack alotz, I still play around alotz and all my reports are still last-minute works. It is like, they are imprinted within my genetic makeup, nothing I can do to change them. Argh! was chatting with Garry the other day, and he said there are many human *worms* also, like the bookworm and lazy worm... Lolx... Well, so now I have become one of those worms huh... Ewwww... Grosss!

A type of tapeworm... You will not want to know what they can do to us... =P

Why is it so hard to change this attitude? Why is it so hard to be more hardworking? Lolx... I don't want to die of liver failure later in my life... Lolx... and this actually leads to another consequence. I am now more depending on coffee.

The everyday-must-drink coffee...

I came about this particular 3 in 1 coffee brand (Super - Charcoal roasted Ipoh white coffee) about 2 years ago, when I started to get addicted to coffee. Wow, the taste is nice, creamy and the coffee taste is strong. What most important is that the effect is instantaneous! It is like I've taken some euphoric drugs and I get very *high* after drinking. Things that I thought impossible before that have now become *i-m-possible*... Lolx... Seriously... I wonder what they actually added inside the coffee... Or it is just to me? Maybe I should conduct a HPLC test to check out the ingredients. Who knows I am actually ingesting drugs (besides caffeine of coz) all these while? Lolx...

Urge... my eye lids gonna close... It is time to pay back my sleeping debt... zzzZzzz...

Time Management

Time management sucks to the maximum. I used to be very efficient, I woke up, grabbed a piece of bread and made a cup of instant 3 in 1 coffee, then on my lappie and start doing reports, assignment, etc. But now, I woke up, lie on the bed for about 10 minutes, fighting with the devil and angel sides of myself, whether to continue sleeping or get off the bed. Lolx... But still when I woke up, I walk slowly to the kitchen, looking around for what to eat, and then on the lappie and start FB-ing... Books are on my table, pleading me to open them and start doing homework... But... I am just too lazy to even look at them... So... What is my problem??? Why I have become so lazy? Why?

This is what I am currently addicted to in FB... =.= Kekekeke... =P

I actually came out with a theory to explain this phenomenon. First, I have too much free times. With only 3 units in hand, I got ample of time to slack around. Lolx... Compared to last semester, whereby my timetable was so packed, every week at least 3 reports, during peak weeks I had extra assignments, presentations and tests. All of these, "forced" me to be efficient as there was no time to waste. Lolx... Look at me now... =.= Sigh~ One more hour before lecture and I have wasted the whole morning already... Urgh... >.<>.< Lolx... I still remember my friend's saying: "This is so-called the Last Semester Syndrome, where you are too lazy to do anything related to academic already...". Well, guess I am severely infected by this disease... zzzZZZzzzzz....

Ohana

Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten. I still remember this quote from Lilo & Stitch, which had touched me very deeply. Today, I am asking myself, while I am actively trying to help the society, serve the community, how much have I contributed to my home? My very own home where I started learning how to walk, how to call "mama" and "papa"... Things have changed with time, so do I.

I promised my dad to go home (Rawang) this weekend, but this morning I actually changed my mind as I woke up at 12noon, don't feel like going home anymore. See, this is how easy I could just break the promise with my dad. I met a friend online, he actually asked me to go home..."Don't think too much, just go home now..." and yea, I did go home in the end. Thanks dude. But things don't just end there. Once I got home, mom bumped into me and complaint that dad has cut her credit card, and I have to go out with her now for grocery shopping as I have to pay the bills. I was like... can I not go? Why dad cut your card? My mom's expression told me that she was hurt, she just wanted me to go with her. Well, in the end, I went.

I did not ask her why dad cut her card. Or was it a misunderstanding? There are times where the card just cannot get through the machine. I have experienced that before. But then mom just excluded all reasons and confirmed that dad has cut her card, because she spent a lot of his money. I was like... Why did you all get married at the first place if there is no trust in each other? Or feelings just changed with time and they are now hating each other? Helpless...

While on the way home from the supermarket, mom actually asked me to fetch my sister back to Sunway. At that time I just refused to do so. Please... I just came back from Sunway and now you want me to go back Sunway and come back Rawang again? >.< "Never mind, I will do it..." At once guilt has penetrated every inch of my body... I felt bad and helpless... And now... I am sitting in my room facing the computer, chatting with friends. My mom is at her room. Interaction? Minimum. So what is the point of me going home if I don't feel home? If my mom is not happy of my existence? Dad is pissed of me... He said I didn't bother to stay at home for long... Every now and then I am away from home... It is like, home is no longer *home* for me already... Helpless... How to strike a balance? How to be a good daughter? How to maintain a good family relationship? Can someone just tell me what to do...