The Book of Eli~

*The Book of Eli*

I happened to watch this movie with my colleague when I was in Ipoh last week. Although we had to ciaoz in the middle of the movie, it actually impacted me quite a bit.

The movie started with a ruined world, due to a nuclear war 30 years ago. The world has totally changed, what left was a bunch of mutated survivals who are willing to do anything to survive, this including to eat human flesh. They have become so mutated that their hands shake due to over eating of human flesh, drinking human blood, or simply, due to living under a nuclear-contaminated environment. Disgusting.

Eventually when I think about it. This story was based on bible study where Jesus has already predicted what will happen to us in the end of the day. We are not ruined by natural disasters or other catastrophic events, but we are all killed by our own hands. We created the war, we exploited our mother's natural resources, we contaminated our own home. If we die today, it is all because of us. No other reasons.

I would say this is a movie of reflection. In fact nowadays there are increasingly more and more movies with this kinda theme, natural disasters, the end of the world, a new world, etc. All of these bring the same message, that our earth is changing, slowly but noticeably.

Just be more observant and look around. Our world was used to be very peaceful a few decades ago, but now natural disasters are everywhere around us. Just 2009 alone, we are struck by earthquake, winter storm, flood, tsunami, wildfire, and many more. How many people died and how many lost their homes and loved ones? When everyone is focusing on saving the victims and how other countries tried to help, who actually see the other side of the picture? Who, who on Earth caused all these to happen? Can we blame our mother? Or we should point the finger to ourselves?

Besides, how about global warming? Can anyone feel the extremely hot weather nowadays? How about the exploitation of natural resources? How about population expansion? Do we have enough clean water and food and land to support this much of people? What happen when we do not have enough resources to keep everyone survive? I seriously cannot imagine.

As an individual, I dare not say that I have done alot for the environment. But I hope that at least all the people living on this planet, we have the courtesy to really think for our mother, to have the basic awareness of what is going to happen if we do not do anything right now.

Clock is ticking, earth is slowly evolving, don't ruin it with our hands. God bless.

Change~

Change is the only constant in life.

I guess this is very right. Recently there are a few changing of staffs in my company. Some of them have been working for the company for a couple of years, and the sudden decision to leave really gave me a shock. Some have been promoted, which I think it is something happy, because he deserves.

Somehow or rather I think changes always happen around us. Perhaps, my heart is slowly changing too. Who knows?

A night of reflection~

Attended a talk last night, all I can say is that it is inspirational. It was like a soul digger, force me to look into myself, think about what I have done for the past 24 years, and foresee what I am going to do for the coming future. A lot of reflection, I would say.

A nice night for sharing. I almost shed my tears when I thought about my family. All the while we have been in average relationship, with my dad especially, I always find it hard to communicate. Have you told your parents that you love them? For the past 24 years, I don't think I have said once I love you to them. Just feel it is awkward and uncomfortable.

Parents are important for me, that is why I care how much they see me. Hopefully before I registered for the training, I will have their full support. =)

真心离伤心最近~

有人说， 真心离伤心最近。

可能是吧。付出了全部的真心， 心已仿佛不再属于自己的。当伤害悄悄降临时，我们也只能落得个束手无策，毫无防备，也未能防备，最后只能任由伤害把心一刀一刀地切开。

有个冲动想要离开，想要保护我的心不想再受到伤害。因为过渡的伤害，剩下的只是一颗冷漠的心。失去了爱人的能力， 失去了相信别人的能力。但是心的另一角却劝我不要轻易放弃，只因真的爱着一个人，就不该轻言放弃。

站在红绿灯前，望着前方，我的心还是希望它能有青灯的时候，只因我还想牵着他的手，一同走向未来，如果有未来的话。

无力... 无奈~

有时放工回家，一身疲累。坐在电脑面前头脑一片空白。只希望明天是休假，至少可以小休一下，远离是是非非，远离现实。觉得人生有时真的很无奈，现实与梦想好像永远都分开。有人说努力是成功的方程式，但是努力的背后需要有多少的血汗，多少的时间，多少的心机？还要经过多少的失败，多少的沮丧，多少的眼泪，才能达到梦想？而且还要做多少违背自己的心，违背良心的事情呢？

有些时候，当努力过了，但现实依然是现实，梦想依然是梦想的时候，那我们又该如何面对呢？乐观面对？接受事实？从新来过？这些都是易讲不易做的事。

现在的我，只觉得疲累。望着前方，什么都看不到。真的希望可以抛开一切，拿个旅行包包，一走了之。

P/S: 何时的我才可以过着无惧无忧的生活？

I miss him~

The weather is so freaking HOT! Ever since Chinese New Year or before that, it is like that already. In the afternoon if you plan for a nap or so, often time you will end up in a sauna room if you didn't on the aircond. Frustrated.

I miss my dear badly. Seeing that he has quite a bunch of pending works to settle and some unresponsive people from his side that drag his work, I really pity him and wish I will be there all the time. Plus the super hot weather, I know he will be sweating around but at the same time couldn't do much about it.

Really hope that things will go well for him. All the best darling, you have my support. =) Love you.

A story to tell~

*I used to think that I will not be able to live without him, but now I realize that I am doing better without him. This is life perhaps, and I thank him for coming into my life, once.*

A phrase that I saw while hopping some random blogs just now. From the sentence itself it is quite obvious that the lady who wrote the post had been through some really hard times before she became who she is today. And yet she thanked the guy for coming into her life, as without him, she wouldn't be who she is today.

Quite a meaningful one. The reality of life is that most of the people we meet today, they come and they go. Some may stay longer, some may just pass by, some may create a great impact, some may leave a deep scar, some we may still sigh when we think back, and the list goes on.

Regardless of who, and their roles in our life, they are the people who mold us today, either the bad or the good way. For me, I thank everyone who came into my life once, and thank those who are still lingering around me, and thank those who have changed me over the period of time. Well, it is just life after all.

P/S:

如果当时的我坚持不让你离去,
今天的我们又能否改变命运？
如果一切已是命中注定，
那过分坚持只能活在过去。

谢谢你让我感受爱情，
谢谢你曾经光顾我的生命，
如果时间能回到过去，
走回同样的路我还是愿意。

虽然感情已成回忆，
但看见你开心我还是替你高兴，
对你，有一份真挚的友谊，
愿快乐常伴你。

Lines~

*If only it is this easy to draw a line*

Sometimes I think it is quite hard to draw lines, to define how much we can go before it is too much, or how little we have done within the line. It is a way to set a boundary and limitation for ourselves, so that we know when to stop, if we have gone way beyond, or when to move forward, when we are stepping at the same ground over a period of time.

But then, especially in servicing line, I find that the lines are blur. It is hard to draw a line between you and your customers, how much you wanna service them? How much extra miles to walk in order to establish a better relationship? How much time we need to spend to build the trust and relationship? To what extent do we need to sacrifice before they take us for granted?

Even sometimes when we spend countless effort and time to build better rapport, they are still founded on a fragile ground, vulnerable and defenseless, easily broken and dissembled. Hmm, I should have taken PR during my study years.

Dementia Me~

The other day while chatting with my colleagues, they said structurally, we female have a different brain as compared to male. How different I don't know, since I am not a neuro expert. But then if gender does make a difference to our brain's structure, maybe the same to dementia, or milder case, forgetfulness.

Nowadays I am very forgetful and disorganized. Early morning when I go to work, my car is quite clean and tidy. But by the time I reach home, my car is in a mess. Used scrambled tissue papers, toll tickets, smart tag, petrol receipts, pens, bag, note book, and etc. They are everywhere in my car.

What worst is that nowadays I am seriously forgetful. This minute I have a to-do-list in my mind, the next minute I can forget half of them already. Today I even left my important document in the hospital (the place I work) and now I only hope that somebody will note it and keep it. What most important is that I hope nobody from the same line notices my folder, otherwise I will be in dead shit.

Why la? What happen to my brain? o.O