Time Management~

Recently realized that I wasted so much time doing nothing! OMG!

The last Saturday I merely sat in front of the TV and drama for the whole day. In the end of the day I was tired not because I exhausted my energy doing something useful, but doing nothing!

Time to take this seriously. Make use of my time wisely. Live as if it is the last day of my life. Phew! Time to do some work! Yo!

P/S: Time to sweat it out tomorrow!

Dream~

When I was younger, I mean REALLY younger, I dreamed of becoming a tailor, with a small little shop, in the time of war.

I imagined myself being the diligent tailor, helping others to sew and make new clothing and at the same time earn a living. I imagined myself falling in love with a young soldier, who later died in the war.

I believe most of us young ladies, we do have that kind of dream before. The prince charming who come rescue us from our miserable live. Haha it has been so long since I dreamed.


P/S: "You raised me up". Suddenly the song was in my mind.
A nice song that I liked so much, but never really listen to it these days.

This series was one of my favorites when I was young, and that was when I dreamed. =)
Enjoy!

Surprise!

Change is the constant of life.
Uncertainty is the foundation.
Stability does not mean absolute,
It only means higher predictability.

Time to get rid of credit cards,
Apply a debit card instead.
Spend money that we have,
Not the future money.

Because future is unpredictable.
Because life is full of surprises,
And shock!

Deal with it.
Bear with it.

Outdated?

People said I am outdated.

Just because I don't keep myself so hooked up with Facebook 24/7, and just because I don't stalk your page all the time, I was said to be outdated and living in my own world. Haha~ I can only laugh when I saw those kinda comment. No doubt I may be full of myself but I still look around and read the newspapers.

Haha~ Whatever.

Its HOLIDAY!

Finally, its HOLIDAY!

I know it is weird to say that now, since I am working already. But the feeling is just great! The anticipation for a long weekend after such a long long time. =D

Work has been more or less the same. But there are still a lot more to do, to learn and to improve. Besides, there are some abrupt changes in the company, which created a lot of speculations. To me I know there is nothing much that I can do, nothing much to worry about. If I am in the list, then fine. I will pack and go. After all I have tried my best.

But regardless, lets not talk about work anymore, as this post should be a happy one. Finally! There is a short holiday waiting for me! Holiday doesn't mean that I have to spend all my days in vacation. It can also mean that I just spend more time resting my brain and my body. Thinking of it alone makes me happy. Hehe~ It has been a long long time.

Nonetheless, wish all my Muslim friends a Happy Hari Raya and Aidilfitri, and all non-Muslim friends a Happy holiday! Lets ENJOY! =D

Single~

Single. Singular. Singularity.

Sometimes I wish to be single again. At least I can have a better control of my tears. At least I don't have to think for somebody else. At least I can live for myself.

Sometimes I wish to be single again. At least if I am stuck in this place, I can just buy a air ticket and go bag pack. At least I can be more irresponsible. At least I can be more happy. Maybe.

Sometimes I wish to be single again.

5 symptoms~

Five symptoms that a guy is leaving you

1. He replies your message late. Sometimes didn't pick up your call.

2. He always find excuses to avoid seeing you.

3. Even when he sees you, he is always busy with his own stuffs. Not paying attention to you.

4. He doesn't care much about your stuffs and life anymore. He talks more about other people.

5. He wants more personal space.

It is just ironic sometimes. When he loves you, he tells the world's sweetest story. How much he loves you, how much he is willing to sacrifice anything for you. But when love comes to an end, these are the things some guys are doing (I am not saying all).

I mean, no one can guarantee that every relationship works. In fact we wouldn't know until the very end of our life. But, if you know that this relationship is not going towards the direction that you want, then just be frank to your partner. Avoidance is always the worst thing to do.

P/S: I am just spamming my blog.

W508~

Dear E72,

I am really sorry. Your survival rate has drastically reduced to 3 months under my care. And without much mourning, I have now embraced another phone, and it is your competitor. I am really sorry to say that. But I still love you, k? I really do. Sobs.

New phone on board, W508!
Due to previous bad experiences, I think for the time being I will just go for a normal phone instead of those hi-tech and expensive phone. I do not want them to all end up having the same faith as my E72. So before I actually learn how to protect my phone well, and make sure that they survive long enough, I will stick to this phone.

*W508*

Basic function. Cool design. Handy and slim. Thats more than enough for me already. =D

The growth hormone~

Today I went to the saloon to cut my hair. Felt so much better after the hair cut, as in my head is much lighter now, although the style is ugly.

This woman who cuts my hair has a small body frame with a short spiky hair with a flaring red dye. She looks young for a mid 40 lady, and trendy. But maybe her daughter has inherited her husband's genes or due to growing environment, her daughter is rather big size.

We chatted quite a bit when she was cutting my hair. I asked her some stupid questions on hair treatment and how to take care of our hair, which most of the times I don't register what she said. Just wanted to keep the conversation going. After awhile somehow we have diverted our conversation to growing hormone.

She said that people nowadays age faster, die faster. At the age of 30s to 40s, some of her customers have got cancer. She said look at her so small size, but her daughter is so big size. Indirectly saying that her daughter has been taking too much of meat. More precisely, meat injected with over-dose of growth hormone.

Somehow I look at myself. Hey I eat a lot of meat too, but my boobs still small, my body frame still small. Although no doubt the fats are accumulating at my thigh, but I don't think they are due to over dosed of growth hormone. Haha~

Well, what she said can be true thou.

The sense of danger~

The sense of danger.

Comparing a normal human with a hungry leopard, which one do you think is more dangerous? The first answer that comes to mind will be leopard, at least for most of the people. Ya it is true, the leopard is a hunter in nature. With its strength and sharp teeth, we will be no doubt torn into pieces if we happen to be its prey.

But I think human is much more dangerous. We claimed to be the smartest. Because we have a big brain, which claimed to be more developed and more complex. But sometimes I think it is safer to be with animals. At least their actions are predictable. Leopards are hungry, thats why they hunt. The cause and effect relation. But sometimes it does not apply to human.

But human is good at hiding their emotions. We can fake, manipulate, cheat and lie. We can produce an image that we want others to perceive us as. There is about 97% of our brain which is not developed. We do not know what is hiding inside that huge part of our brain that is waiting for a chance to manifest and control us.

Human is dangerous. Much more dangerous. Beware.

P/S: I should be a neuro-psychiatrist.

The Trust Issue~

Can guys can still be trusted?

While I was waiting for doctor just now, I grabbed a magazine on the rack and started flipping through. Saw a Q&A article in the relationship section and that really got me thinking again.

Skip the long winded story. The thing that I focus on is, there is this guy who told the other girl (A) that he misses her a lot and at the same time holding the hand of his girlfriend (B). A is doubtful of what he said. She reminded him of his girlfriend. He said this is just spices of life. We can once a while be a little naughty without telling our other half.

A hesitated. She wonders if this is the right thing to do. That is why she wrote to the magazine and asked for advice. Even though I am not an expert in love, but from the story I already know that the guy is merely a piece of shyt. Selfish. Irresponsible. And yet he claims that he loves B and at the same time misses A.

We always claimed to be the smartest animals on this planet. But at the same time we are the most down graded beings. We cheat. We lie. We hurt others to seek temporary happiness.

The lesson of the day:
Get away from irresponsible guys/ girls.

People come and go~

I remember having this kinda feeling some times back. Final semester was going to end and I was just about to get close with a bunch of friends. The friendship bond had just been made, and it was time to say goodbye again. The feeling is like two balls rolling at the different directions and finally there is a point where they cross the line and interact with each other. But the balls did not stop rolling. The interaction is just a transient process, the balls continue to roll towards different directions again.

Today I experienced this kinda feeling again. A colleague of mine has decided to resign and join another company. The first feeling I got after hearing the news was unbelievable. I thought she was joking. I really thought she was joking. However the news struck me as true, and she is really going to leave the company soon.

Of course I am happy for her as she found a job offering better stability and revenues. But the feeling of her leaving the company kinda sadden me. Seeing her in my eyes I recalled the time we spent together. Although we don't work together often but there are times where we shared our laughter, concern and many more.

People come and go. It is this time where I thought I started to get close with her, and she has decided to leave. Thinking about this made me emotional. Nobody will stay forever. This is just another fact of life.

Anyways, all the best for her. Hope she found what she wants. =)

Blaming again~

Not trying to find fault, but just wanna voice my heart out.
This is my blog anyways, don't like then just get out of here.


Was in the office few days back. As usual having morning meeting with other colleagues and some bosses. One of them voiced out that another company has been head hunting our people over. He said that company is becoming a "little Roche", like to hunt people from our side. Then some laughed, some snorted, some just couldn't be bothered.

Maybe it is the way he expressed it, I raised my eyebrow looking at him in a way. It is as if that company is such a jerk where they only know how to headhunt people from other companies to work for them. Saying as if the only thing they know how to do is to "fish" people from our side.

Well, it is just another blaming game. I wonder if he actually put on his thinking cap before making such judgment. Why people from our company wanna leave and join other companies? Besides better offer (maybe a little increase of salary), why do they leave if they are truly satisfy with the company? Perhaps we should bear some responsibilities as well.

But don't think many of them actually see this. All they do is just to point their fingers to others. What to do? It is too simple to blame.

P/S: A bit of crap. Whatever.

Dreams~

Long long time ago,
When I was still a nerdy kiddo,
I dreamed of many things.

Sometimes they are so unrealistic, they make me laugh when I think back once a while. But I remember a friend of mine told me this before. We are who we are when we first born. Our characters, our desires, they are all at their purest stage.

But when we are getting older, things start to change with our growing environment. Dad said it is wrong if we don't study hard; Mom said it is bad if we don't get a good job, etc etc. Eventually we do things by taking into account of other factors, by considering others' expectations on how we are suppose to behave. Whether we are success or not is predefined by the society setting. Eventually we no longer dream anymore. How sad.

But I still dream occasionally. I think it is a temporary getaway and sometimes when I think of my dreams, they make me smile again. While I was on my way home from dinner just now, I dream of my future life. Do I need to work in the future? I hate being a employee but it is not easy to start my own business. The best way is that I have a husband who earns a decent salary, which is sufficient to survive and have extra for saving and investment. Then I do not have to work anymore, or I work leisurely. Keke~

I also dream of my future house. I am not a greedy person who likes big giant mansion. To me a compact and unique house will do. I just want a place where I can call home. Spacious, comfortable, peaceful, safe and sweet. Simple interior design, ergonomic furniture, airy with good ventilation, modern and clean.

I dream to have 2 kids in the future. One boy and one girl. The boy is a macho little boy, although younger than his sister, he tends to always be the one who leads and protects his sister if someone coming near her with any bad intention. He is young, energetic and smart. He is our family hero, but sometimes can be a little hyperactive.

I dream of my daughter. She is an obedient little girl but at the same time very independent. She loves cooking and cross stitch, things that he mother is not good at. She is very talented and love musics. In the future she want to be a musician and tour around the world to share good music with all the people that she comes across.

I love shopping actually. But in the future I hope I can offer a place where people can satisfy their shopping desire but at the same time don't have to burn a hole in their pocket. I wish to see their satisfying face after coming to my shop. I want to open a boutique in the future with a specific theme. Working attires for example? They are so expensive in the market and usually the designs are more or less the same. I want to open a boutique where my clothing are well designed, reasonable price and comfortable quality. I dream...

I dream of being a speaker occasionally as well, voluntary basis. There are many people out there who do not know about the importance of nutrition. Kids as young as 2-3 years old they may be so malnourished that they look like a old haggard man/ woman. Incidence as such is avoidable, if they know what is the right thing to eat. I wish I can give some speeches someday to the poor rural area people, in their dialect and really convey the message to their hearts. I wish all human beings will have a better quality of life...

It is so good to just dream sometimes. Although it may sound silly, but I feel good after dreaming. Will they come true one day? I wish... =)

The blaming game~

Somehow I find that blaming is the nature of human being.

It is always easier to blame others rather than to hold responsibility for an incident/ accident. By pointing our finger to others we can get ourselves protected. A way to show others and ourselves that we are not in fault, we aren't the one who need to change. For that, we can continue to laze in our comfort zone.

Today while I was lining up for a fitting room, I saw an aunty dragging a little girl walking very fast passed by me. Probably she is eager to grab the cheap deal she did not realize a small wooden partition jerking out near the fitting room. The small little girl was innocently dragged by her mother (I assumed) and obviously she did not have a chance to avoid the wooden partition as well. As a result, her small little head hit onto the partition and I heard a very loud *bang*.

Although I wasn't hurt at all, but seeing the incident happened in front of me I feel that my heart ached a bit, as if I can feel the excruciating pain as well. Immediately the small girl cried, the mother turned her head and finally realized the small partition. She went to check on the girl's forehead and said it is fine, don't cry.

Then she started saying: "Next time must see properly okay? Don't simply knock onto something. How can you be so careless?". When I heard that conversation I was actually looking at that woman in surprise. I mean, how can you blame the small kid while it was you who dragged her so quickly and didn't notice the wooden partition? The girl was so young and all she can do is just to follow someone she can trust. In fact she wasn't given a choice since she was dragged most of the time.

I can only sigh when I look at the small girl. Once again this showed that blaming is part of our nature. When bad things happen, it is almost a spontaneous reaction to blame others. Have a look at our world histories, blaming was part of the war, part of conflicts, part of misunderstanding. But seems like not many people actually learn the lesson from our past.

P/S: Something that I recalled learning from my self-improvement course. When things turn bad, don't blame others nor you blame yourself. Just hold responsibility of things that happen.

Home Sweet Home~

It has been almost a week since I last stepped into my house.

Nothing has changed but the feeling of being at home is really good. Long hour of traveling from South to North, staying in a budget hotel with uncomfortable pillow and frayed bed sheet and curtain, eating oily and heaty outside food, working under the hot sun and the list goes on. With all that going home is actually a blessing, the comfort zone where I can take a deep breath, let my shoulder melts down, relax my jaw and ease for a moment. It is a place where I can temporary forget about my to-do list, about pressure and figures.

It is always good to go home. =)

Random thoughts of the day~

1. While removing makeup, I saw my worn out face on the mirror. Suddenly I am asking myself, since when makeup has become part of my daily routine?

2. Looking at the daycare chemo board, I saw few patients on my competitor's drug and none on mine. Suddenly I am asking myself, was all my effort going down the drain?

3. Have been raining almost the whole day. Suddenly I am asking myself, is the rainy season coming already?

4. Highway is suppose to be express, with the money that we are paying everyday. But I took one and a half hour to reach home. Highway was clogged with cars. Suddenly I am asking myself, is highway = expressway anymore? Why am I paying so much every month?

5. When I was talking to a doctor today, he was repeating a story he told me before. But my mind has no memory of the story at all. Suddenly I am asking myself, since when I am so numbed with the conversations I had at work?

6. From 8am to 7.30pm today I only had a cup of coffee, a toasted garlic bread and a hotdog bun. Suddenly I am asking myself, am I gonna screw my stomach?

7. Today I miss Sam a lot. He is one of the best managers I ever met. I wonder why he has to go to other company? Suddenly I am asking myself, can he come back and save our product? Please?

8. Have been procrastinating. I miss the old days where I don't have much to worry about. I miss my aunty gang. I miss Leo club. I miss reports. I miss lab session. I miss all of them.

9. I miss him, terribly. *sobs*

Shame of Myself~

Something embarrassing happened today.

I was happily talking about my product to a doctor in a hospital today. Full of passion, as I always do. But then she came to ask me a simple question, the data that I should know inside out by now, the data that should be at my finger tips by now.

When she asked, unfortunately to say my mind was blank. I forgot the data, I don't exactly remember the smaller details. Embarrassed, I told her that I will get back to her as soon as possible. In a way I am lucky because she is still a relatively junior doctor, I am lucky because this did not happen in front of some specialists, and I am lucky because I was not working with any of my bosses.

Sigh~ Not that I didn't read my data, just that I didn't memorize the data inside out. Nowadays I feel that I am super disorganized. Things are all scattered around my table. I don't have a to-do list to keep my progress on track. My selling tools (clinical papers and some promotional materials) are running low since weeks ago, and yet I still havent get my ass up to go get more from the office. Last Ipoh trip I kinda went empty handed, I just did with what left in my car. @@"

This Saturday is my dad birthday and yet my boyfriend remembers better than me. Argh! Need some help.

Are we better off?

Recently I saw a video clip on Facebook which said that women are exposed to more than 500 types of chemicals in a day. From shampoo to facial wash to toner to body lotion and comestic products, every beauty product that we use today contains at least 10 types or more harmful chemicals.

Maybe this isn't new to most us as we are well aware of the role of *chemical* in our daily products. But as we are living in a society that is overwhelmed with chemicals, can we live without them? In fact we are consuming them everyday, even in the water that we drink.

When I was thinking about this, something pops into my mind. How about those women who lived in the ancient world? They did beautify their features as well but they did not heavily depending on chemicals. And yet from most historical records, they are described as beautiful and charming figures. Some of them even changed the destiny of a dinasty, if you know what I am saying.

So, are we better off with so many chemicals applied onto us?

P/S: Just some craps.

Emo Nemo~

Tonight is really an emo night.

Mind was mentally blocked. Everyone is telling me what is the right thing to do. But I am done with inputs, please just leave me alone. I just want a night with a blank mind, am I asking for too much? Sorry I am not gonna care anymore. I am done with overly constraining myself.

Dropby one of my friend's FB wall, he passed away 7 months ago due to a horrible accident. Saw many people still dropping posts on his wall, the feelings are very strong. Can he read in heaven? Or wherever place that he is in now? Can he feel the love and warmth from his family and friends? If I am gone today, are you gonna still dropby my wall and keep me updated with your life? Will you still remember me in 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, 40 years, 50 years... or till the day you catch your last breath?

P/S: Today is the 5th anniversary of Kenny Sia's dad passing too.
http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2010/05/its-been-5-year.php