P for procrastination~

Found out one thing about myself today.

I talk more than I listen.
I talk more than I observe.
I follow my heart more than my brain.
I follow gut feelings more than analysis.

In the end, people don't really get what I want, and I don't really know why I talk so much and talk so fast.

P/S: I need the strength to stay optimistic. Current procrastinating...

Bleak~

Finally ESMO was over.

With much anticipation and hope, I am waiting for good news released from this medical oncology event. But before I heard about any good news, bad news comes first.

There was a data presented during the event, which could possibly shatter the confidence of the doctors in using my drug. What most funny is that the presentation was putting a question mark on one of our most established indications, which I couldn't help myself but to LOL. How worst a situation can be?

Of course, just based on one email I cannot determine how large and how severe is the damage. But with some other problems that we are facing now, I guess it is safe to say that my product is gonna face a challenging future.

Looking at the current situation, I don't know how much I can do, and how much I can help. But in the field that I am working, I believe besides rapport and sponsorship and other related help and services, the most important sales-factor is still our product data.

Honestly speaking, I don't know what is going to happen next, but I wish I am positive and strong enough to stay on. Gambateh!

Stressful life~

So freaking stress!

I don't wanna work can? Sobs I hate myself for being over stressing myself, but I just can't help it! Argh! How? I really don't know what to do. I hate to see the figures! I don't know what else I can do to push more and more and more. People said we should work smart not work hard but I have tried to try both but still I am far behind. How lar?

P/S: Stress level freaking high.

DIY Miracle~

Often time I think and think and think. Analyze analyze and analyze.

I like to spend time in the toilet while showering. I feel the calmness when the steaming hot water pour onto my body. I feel relax and my mind starts to think better. I reflect the activities of my day, what have I done, what have I said, and reflect how people react to my words as well as to my actions.

Sometimes I am able to find the link between one person to another, sometimes I get to understand the person more under the hot water. I feel that my mind is clearer under the hot water. I think, and think and think. I analyze, and analyze and analyze.

I feel that I am a director, sitting on one side of the scene, rolling the camera while watching the actors come into life. I see them play, and I see myself a few hours ago playing as one of the actors. I see my customers and how they react to my play. I see our interactions and our conversations and I realize that there are still a huge room for improvement.

It hasn't been easy to be a sales person. Talent is one thing, but effort is a big thing that leads to its success. Looking at myself now, I know that I am still not good enough. But I want to prove it to myself that I can do better than I think I can.

I don't need a solution, I need a miracle. And I have to create one.

The sense of Gratitude~

Life...

At this point of time, is not perfect, but is good enough.

Thank God for all the blessings, and thank you everyone who make it together with me. Thanks to my family, my parents, my beloved one, my colleagues and friends. There are still a lot of stress, undone work, unfulfilled dreams ahead, but at this point of time I am contented and happy.

P/S: Maybe because of that, someone said I have gained weight. =P