The sense of danger~

The sense of danger.

Comparing a normal human with a hungry leopard, which one do you think is more dangerous? The first answer that comes to mind will be leopard, at least for most of the people. Ya it is true, the leopard is a hunter in nature. With its strength and sharp teeth, we will be no doubt torn into pieces if we happen to be its prey.

But I think human is much more dangerous. We claimed to be the smartest. Because we have a big brain, which claimed to be more developed and more complex. But sometimes I think it is safer to be with animals. At least their actions are predictable. Leopards are hungry, thats why they hunt. The cause and effect relation. But sometimes it does not apply to human.

But human is good at hiding their emotions. We can fake, manipulate, cheat and lie. We can produce an image that we want others to perceive us as. There is about 97% of our brain which is not developed. We do not know what is hiding inside that huge part of our brain that is waiting for a chance to manifest and control us.

Human is dangerous. Much more dangerous. Beware.

P/S: I should be a neuro-psychiatrist.

My E72~

I didn't know if I got a thing with toilet bowl.

Years ago when I was in National Service camp, I accidentally dropped my hand phone onto a squat type toilet bowl. But that time was forgivable because the public toilet was dark. I needed to use the phone as a torch light so that I could see and not knock on something and fell straight to the floor.

This time around. I dropped my hand phone to the toilet bowl again. What makes a difference is that it was with a bowl of shyt, and also because I just wanted to play around with the phone in the toilet while shitting and accidentally slipped and dropped into the toilet bowl.

What happened next was fast. Without my mind started to process what to do, my reflex reaction already ordered my hand to pick up the phone from the toilet bowl, immediately turned my back and washed with running water from the tap. The entire process took less than a minute. But it was enough to permanently leave scar to my phone.

I spent hours trying to blow dry the phone. Dissemble all the parts and blow with full blast of hot air. But it didn't seem to work. I tried to use the phone after about an hour, but it didn't seem to function. In the end I had no choice but to tell my dad. He was mad and upset, as anticipated. Saying that I didn't bother to take care of things which I didn't have to pay for. Taking things for granted. I was speechless actually, couldn't find a word/ phrase to defend myself because what he said was what I am doing. I got a backup phone from him eventually, seeing all the hidden 18++ messages between my sister with an anonymous guy/ girl/ tomboy or whosoever.

The next morning my *drowned* phone was unexpectedly working well. Throughout the whole morning I was fiercely texting my boyfriend, my boss and my colleagues. Things just seem to get back on track, the phone seems to work again. But in the afternoon it started showing signs like "sim card lost" and automatically turned my phone into offline mode.

Immediately I know that I have to send for repair for sure already. The phone is only 3 months old, but with my torture it looks like a 3 years old gadget. As if it has been slashed, dumped, pressed, kicked, thrown and whatever abusive actions that you can think of.

In the end of the day, it is all about responsibility. I didn't appreciate the things that I have. I never bother to take good care of it. Always taking things for advantage. Shame of myself. Really really shame of myself.

The Trust Issue~

Can guys can still be trusted?

While I was waiting for doctor just now, I grabbed a magazine on the rack and started flipping through. Saw a Q&A article in the relationship section and that really got me thinking again.

Skip the long winded story. The thing that I focus on is, there is this guy who told the other girl (A) that he misses her a lot and at the same time holding the hand of his girlfriend (B). A is doubtful of what he said. She reminded him of his girlfriend. He said this is just spices of life. We can once a while be a little naughty without telling our other half.

A hesitated. She wonders if this is the right thing to do. That is why she wrote to the magazine and asked for advice. Even though I am not an expert in love, but from the story I already know that the guy is merely a piece of shyt. Selfish. Irresponsible. And yet he claims that he loves B and at the same time misses A.

We always claimed to be the smartest animals on this planet. But at the same time we are the most down graded beings. We cheat. We lie. We hurt others to seek temporary happiness.

The lesson of the day:
Get away from irresponsible guys/ girls.

People come and go~

I remember having this kinda feeling some times back. Final semester was going to end and I was just about to get close with a bunch of friends. The friendship bond had just been made, and it was time to say goodbye again. The feeling is like two balls rolling at the different directions and finally there is a point where they cross the line and interact with each other. But the balls did not stop rolling. The interaction is just a transient process, the balls continue to roll towards different directions again.

Today I experienced this kinda feeling again. A colleague of mine has decided to resign and join another company. The first feeling I got after hearing the news was unbelievable. I thought she was joking. I really thought she was joking. However the news struck me as true, and she is really going to leave the company soon.

Of course I am happy for her as she found a job offering better stability and revenues. But the feeling of her leaving the company kinda sadden me. Seeing her in my eyes I recalled the time we spent together. Although we don't work together often but there are times where we shared our laughter, concern and many more.

People come and go. It is this time where I thought I started to get close with her, and she has decided to leave. Thinking about this made me emotional. Nobody will stay forever. This is just another fact of life.

Anyways, all the best for her. Hope she found what she wants. =)

Negligence~

I have a story to tell.

There is this little boy who is very cute and smart. Maybe not book smart but he is a street smart boy. From young everyone likes him a lot, and he is his eldest sister's favorite sibling. The day when he was sent home from the hospital after delivery, his eldest sister gingerly touched his subtle forehead, the feeling of love is so strong. The connection between the siblings is strong. But, things change.

As they both grow up, the focus has changed. The sister has many other things to focus, and the little brother has seem to be a confirmed existence. As if he will always be there. He will not change. Negligence. Ignorance. Naive.

But when the little boy grows up, he faces different environments. He isn't happy with schooling, doesn't understand the subjects, fails several important units, sleep in the class. From bad to worst. He does everything without telling his parents, not even his sisters. Maybe to him, his family does not care anymore.

Parents are busy building a new house, thinking of other people's problems, socializing. Sister is too engross with her own problems, career, relationship, friendship, etc. Seems like family has not been in her equation for a long period of time. Negligence. Ignorance.

He may feel that nobody is there to help him, he turns his attention to his friends. The influence of peers, or some other things, they are all better than his family. Eventually the bubble bursts and the ugly side reveals. And the reality shocks everyone of them, including his eldest sister.

He failed his subjects terribly, he hide his sister's mp3 and lied that he did not. When confronted, he said this is a revenge. When accused, he pointed his finger to his mother and said please do not disturb, you are a disturbance. He shouted to his mother, asking her to shut up. His eldest sister is there too during the confrontation. She shouted as well, couldn't believe what her beloved little brother has done, partly also to cover her shock. What has happened? Why he change so much? Negligence. Because all the while they don't care, and now they don't know how they can care anymore.

The scenario is heart breaking. Painfully heart breaking. The eldest sister started crying during the confrontation, trying to save her little brother from fire. But he has been in the fire for so long and nobody cares. How can she save her by just scolding and tell him what is the right thing to do? And how she knows this is the right thing to do anyways?

The moral of the story:
Our eyes are narrow-sighted most of the time. We only see and magnify our problems, engross into them and spend most of the time self-pitying and blaming others for the unfairness. Negligence. Denial. Ignorance. We have eventually forgotten our closest family, forgot about other things. Negligence. When the truth reveals, it will just take you by surprise.

When you still can, please do not ignore your family members. Take responsibility as part of the family member.