Rejuvenation~

*When can I have this kinda freedom?*

Have been having very little sleep nowadays, sleep deprivation is not something new in my dictionary. This morning I woke up feeling cranky. I didn't want to wake up from my bed, wanted so much to stay underneath my blanket. I didn't want to go to work, thinking of the possibility to text my boss and ask for mc. I didn't wanna do anything that have any relation with responsibility.

But reality is reality, not something that I can easily escape from. As I finally woke up and washed up, I opened my cupboard and found that I have nothing to wear. Mind was blank, time was ticking. Just simply, I grabbed a normal working blouse and a white pants, kinda slammed my cupboard and off I go. It was this kinda day, I felt burdened even at the early of the morning.

While driving to work, sleeping bugs were attacking me. There was a few times where I nearly dozed off. I told him I was sleepy, I wanted to sleep, but even with virtual kisses and everything, I still felt sleepy. At the same time, my mind was having a civil war again, whether to go to the hospital this early, or just to *snake* for a while to grab a cup of coffee. Finally, the devil won. In my heart I was trying to convince myself, "I was already late anyways, maybe the urologists will not be there already..."

To be truthful, all I wanted was a time off. I needed time for myself, detach from the world, to get away from people, from work, from reality and from responsibility. I just wanted some times for myself, doing nothing related to work, just wanted to enjoy a cup of coffee. Kinda pathetic when I think it that way. Since when I have to think of so many excuses to give myself a break?

Nowadays I've learn that, life has never been easy. I am trying hard to achieve things that I wanted to achieve, trying to strike a balance. But during the process, I have loss myself. Time are all devoted to other people, and I left myself with nothing, but a bunch of undone works, tension, responsibilities, and sleep deprivation.

I am done with all these. I need a break. I need to re-organize myself. I need to re-set my goals. I need to prioritize. Most importantly, I need rest. Accept it, it is time for some self-nurturing and self-respect.