Demotivated~

Mind is full of thoughts...
Disoriented and confused...
Conflicting thoughts...
Civil war among my brain cells...
Battling against the right and wrong and the middle...
The black and the white and the gray...
Hard to reach a common ground...
There is no agreement of what is right and what is wrong...

Life is hard... I think I cannot agree more with this...
And the hardest part is that...
I don't know how to communicate effectively with others...
If there is a unit for self-expression...
I think I will fail miserably...

Throughout 23 years of life...
I have been told... have learned from my past experiences that I must know how to express myself, my thoughts and feelings...
Yea... Somehow I am getting better with this...
But the outcome is discouraging...
Different from what I thought it should be...

Demotivated...
I am stuck in front of the door...
The door to heaven and a better life...
Hand stretched out to reach the door knob...
But I have no courage to turn the door knob and open the door...
Motion frozen...
Not that I do not want to...
It is just that it takes me a lot before I can open the door...

What shall I do?
What is the right thing to do?
How do I know which is the right thing to do?